Pushing Forward or Pulling Back
by atthebeginningwithyou
Summary: 1st fic… Is Sara moving on without Grissom? GSR! Complete!
1. Chapter 1

Title: Pushing Forward or Pulling Back

Rating: PG (for now)

Disclaimer: Wish they were mine… alas they are not

Summary: 1st fic… Just trying things out. Is Sara moving on without Grissom? GSR baby!

Sara stared into her coffee mug as she sat in the breakroom, lost in her own thoughts. Nick walked in, and she continued to stare.

"Hey Sar? You ok?" Nick asked.

"What?" Sara's head shot up. "Yeah I'm fine. Just a little tired I guess"

"Sara Sidle, tired? Wow did you see that?" Nick asked looking out the window.

"What?" Sara questioned peering over his shoulder.

"I think a pig just flew by"

"Ha ha. Very funny Nick. You should be a comedian."

"But seriously Sara. What's wrong?"

"Nick, I'm fine."

"No your not. I know you. You never smile anymore. There is so much tension between you and Grissom. What's going on between you two anyway?"

"Nothing is going on between us" Sara answered.

"Maybe that's the problem."

"He has made it quite clear that he doesn't want me. And well I've been thinking that it is time to move on. I mean I'm getting older and all my colleagues are starting to get married. I want to find someone that will wants to be with me and start a family. I can't wait forever Nick. I need to be loved".

"Good for you Sara. Although I think your wrong about him loving you. I see the way he looks at you. He never looks at any other woman the way he looks at you." Nick replied.

Grissom, assignments in hand ambled down to the break room when he overheard Sara say:

"Well I did tell him he would be too late if he ever figures _this_ out. But I think I have to move on. I'm losing myself. I'm not the same person that walked through those doors six years ago."

Grissom stopped short of the door way as Sara continued:

"And as a matter of fact. I'm going on a date tomorrow night."

"Sara Sidle? On a date? Brrr… I think hell just froze over" Nick retorted.

"Oh your hilarious."

"So tell me. What's his name? Where do you know him from?"

"Whoa Whoa! Slow down Nick. What are you? A teenage girl?" Sara chuckled. "He lives a couple doors down from me. He helped me with my groceries the other day and we sort of talked for a while. And, well, he kinda asked me out."

"Kinda?" Nick questioned.

"Just a trial date. Dinner and a movie. And we both agreed we would see where it goes from there."

"Well good luck with that. I hope it goes over well" Nick replied.

"Thanks. Where is Grissom anyway? He was supposed to be here 5 minutes ago to hand out assignments"

Outside the door Grissom was trying to regain his composure. _Sara, his Sara, was going out on a date with another man. No wait, Gil, she is not YOUR Sara. You turned her down remember. Yes, I do remember. I'll never forget that look on her face and her warning "You could be too late". Am I too late?_

Grissom put on his unemotional façade, composed himself, and walked into the breakroom like nothing happened.

**TBC… maybe? Feedback would be greatly appreciated because this is my first fanfiction. I want your honest opinions!**


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Pushing Forward or Pulling Back

Rating: PG (for now)

Disclaimer: Wish they were mine… alas they are not

Summary: 1st fic… Just trying things out. Is Sara moving on without Grissom? GSR

**A/N: Thanks for all the reviews so far! And now on with the show!**

The doorbell rang exactly at 7:00.

_Of course he would be right on time._ Sara thought as she hopped down the hallway while putting on her shoe. _He lives like three doors down._

Sara was dressed in a nice, but not too revealing lilac dress. The top was halter styled with the bottom of the dress just reaching above her knee. As she got right in front of the door she slipped on her strappy off white sandals, smoothed her tousled hair, and opened the door to reveal…

"Mark Hey, come on in!"

Mark Brennan took a step into the hallway. He looked about 6'5 with a dark brown hair. His blue eyes stood out against his somewhat pale face. He was dressed in a nice dark suit and held a bunch of yellow roses which he handed to Sara.

"Wow, thank you! The flowers are beautiful"

"I thought that yellow roses would be more appropriate. A trial date. Tonight we are going out more as friends first and then we'll see where we go from there." Mark replied

"Sounds perfect" Sara stated as she ran her fingers over the petals. "Let me get these flowers into a vase and then we'll go"

She put the flowers in some water and set them in the kitchen and headed out the door closely following Mark.

"Sara! What are you doing here? I though you had a hot date tonight." Nick exclaimed when he saw her in the layout room.

"Well duty calls. I got pulled in for the McLaren case" Sara sighed.

"So?"

"So what Nick? I have work to do."

"Tell me about your date! Come on you can use a break. Walk and talk with me to get coffee from the break room" Nick pleaded.

"Fine" Sara huffed and the both walked towards the breakroom "His name is Mark. We went to dinner, and I got called in on a case. He dropped me at home. I came to work. The end."

"No, no there has to be more than that or else you would not have that smile on your face" Nick chided.

Just then they walked into the breakroom to reveal Grissom and Greg going over notes from the McLaren case.

"Nick just drop it" Sara hissed upon seeing Grissom.

"What are you talking about? Your hot date?" Greg chimed in.

Sara glared at Nick "You are worse than a bunch of high school girls".

Sara glanced at Grissom to gauge his reaction. But then again he had his stone cold unemotional demeanor on. Grissom refused to lift his head from the case fine in fear that she would see the hurt in his eyes.

"Guys please just drop it. My personal life in none of your business. Can we get this case closed now?"

"Why, so you can go back to your house for a little lovin' with the new boy toy?" Greg chided as he nudged Sara's side.

"Greg, she said to drop it!" Came an unexpected outburst from Grissom.

Everyone stood there at a loss for words.

Grissom took a deep breath and continued. "Work time is not the place to be disgussing these kinds of things. Lets get back to the case at hand. Now I believe Mrs. McLaren was standing on the steps when her husband…"

As Grissom continued with running the case, Sara thought about everything that just happened. She never expected Grissom to react like that. _Maybe he does care. No wait you are supposed to be moving on with your life. He will only hurt you again._ She mentally shook her head. _It's time to move on. After all you have another date with Mark. He's a really nice guy. You should give him a chance. _Glancing over at Grissom she thought _But he'll never be Grissom. Shut up!_ She told her thoughts and went back to listening to the case.

**TBC… Is it bad? Should I continue? Should I stop writing all together? Reviews are always appreciated!**


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Pushing Forward or Pulling Back

Rating: PG 13 (for now)

Disclaimer: Wish they were mine… alas they are not

Summary: 1st fic… Just trying things out. Is Sara moving on without Grissom? GSR

**Thanks to all that keep reviewing! I really appreciate it. Next Chappie:**

"Alright, so that seems to solve it" Sighed Grissom.

"Yes, it was the husband in the hallway with a knife" Greg chimed in.

"Greg, we're solving crimes, not playing clue" snapped Sara. With that she walked out of the breakroom in a huff.

"Jeeze, why does she have her panties in a bunch?" Greg huffed.

"Probably because she didn't have a chance to finish her date." Nick replied. "From what she told me, although she was pretty tight lipped, she seemed to be having a good time. Well at least it was plain to see from the smile on her face. She hasn't smiled, and I mean really smiled since, well since, the Lurie case. It has to be freaky to see yourself on that autopsy table. I for one hope Sara stays happy" Nick finished shooting a warning glance at Grissom.

The look did not go unnoticed by Grissom who was trying to look busy by studying the case file. And with that he gathered the case file and headed towards his office. He could just feel the migraine coming on.

Once he got to his office, he downed his migraine medicine without water, and sat lost in his own thoughts. He finally realized that he really might have lost Sara to another man. _This is it, you really screwed it up. Now you've lost her. _

He sat staring off into space, when he heard a knock on the door.

"Come in" Grissom called.

Catherine walked in. "Hey Grissom. I wanted to ask you about…" she trailed off. "Migraine?"

"Yeah" he replied wearily.

"No, it's not just the migraine is it?"

"What are you talking about Catherine?"

"You have that look."

"What look?" Grissom questioned his eyebrows raised.

"The I'm-thinking-about-Sara-and-even-though-I-love-her-I-can't-do-anything-about-it-because-I'm-too-scared-eventhough-she-loves-me-back-look" Catherine replied all in one breath.

"Not now Catherine. I'm really not in the mood."

"So I take it you heard about her date with Mr. Wonderful"

"Mr. Wonderful?" Grissom's head shot up. "She said that?"

"No, actually she didn't. She's actually been pretty reserved about telling anyone anything about her mystery date. However, your reaction does prove my point about how much you care about her. Not to mention how jealous you must be right now".

"Catherine can we not do this now?"

"Fine Gil. But you have been putting this thing between you and Sara off too long. She's not going to wait around forever. In fact if you hadn't noticed, she is trying to move on. And well I don't think I can blame her. I mean a man she deeply cares for is playing games with her. You joke and flirt for a couple months, and the without any warning, you push her away again".

"Catherine" Grissom said in a warning tone.

"Whatever, Gil. When your all alone in 20 years in you townhouse, you will be wishing that you listened to your heart, instead of trying to protect your pride". And with that Catherine walked out of the office and slammed the door shut.

Grissom winced at the sound. And he was back where he started. Alone in his office.

**TBC?... What do you think?**


	4. Chapter 4

Title: Pushing Forward or Pulling Back

Rating: PG 13

Disclaimer: Wish they were mine… alas they are not

Summary: 1st fic… Just trying things out. Is Sara moving on without Grissom? GSR!

**Writing Fanfic--- Good procrastination tool… since I should be studying for finals. Oh well!**

It was one week later when he heard it. He was walking past the break room and he had to stop. Sara Sidle was giggling! He stopped just outside the doorway when he heard her say:

"Yeah I had a really good time last night. No I'm serious! I really don't get out as much as I should. So are we still on for tomorrow? Sweet! Where to? Oh come on please tell me! Don't make me beg! Ok fine. I'll see you tomorrow. Bye"

Then he heard it again. Sara sighed and let out a soft giggle as she shut her phone. When Grissom walked into the breakroom, he glanced over at her and noticed the contented smile on her face.

Sara seemed to be daydreaming and didn't even notice when he came in. Grissom cleared his throat as he came in to pour himself a cup of coffee.

_God, she looks so beautiful._ Grissom though as he reached for the coffee pot. _I wonder if she would look like that after we talk on the phone. _He cleared his throat again to catch her attention, but she was totally lost in thoughts.

Sara didn't stir, until Nick and Greg waltzed into the room.

They both looked at Sara and then glanced at each other. Greg walked over to where she was sitting on the couch and waved his hand in front of her face and said "Earth to Sara! Earth to Sara".

Sara snapped back into reality. "Oh sorry I was just thinking about something"

"Something… or someone?" Nick hinted.

Sara just glared at him.

"Aww come on Sar. That boy you've been seeing has turned you into a giggling girl" Nick continued.

"Well Nick if you haven't noticed. I am a girl." Sara snapped.

"Oh I've noticed" Greg muttered as he got he special blend of coffee out of the cupboard.

"Shut up Greg" Sara countered with a smirk on her face.

Grissom just leaned against the counter watching the CSIs banter back and forth. _Sara does seem much happier._ He thought as he sipped on his coffee. _She looks so beautiful when she smiles. Stop torturing yourself Gil!_ He mentally shook himself as Catherine and Warwick walked into the breakroom.

"Assignments everyone" Grissom announced to stop the conversation. "Nick and Catherine, you guys got a DB in an abandoned house. Warwick and Greg you guys have a 419".

"Sweet!" Greg jumped up "I'm driving!"

"No way man. I'm driving Greggo" Warwick countered. They continued to debate as they walked down the hallway.

"Come on Nick. We should get to our crime scene" Catherine motioned to Nick as she walked out of the room.

After Nick and Catherine left, Sara asked "What about me Grissom?".

"Paperwork, for both of us". Grissom said with a sigh.

"Great" Sara huffed. "What have I done this time to be on you shit list Grissom?"

"What?" Grissom stammered as he was completely thrown off by the question.

"Oh please Grissom, you only make me do paperwork when I have a ton of it on my desk or when you are pissed off at me. And the last time I checked my desk it only had one case file on it, and that was the McLaren case and we just finished processing all the evidence last shift. If anyone should be doing paperwork it should be Nick. Have you seen the pile on his desk? It's over 6 inches tall! So what have I done to piss you off this time?"

Grissom was silent.

"Grissom there has to be a reason!"

Grissom again was at a loss for words.

"Fine, then you know what Grissom. I'll finish up that one case file and then I'm taking the rest of the shift off. I already maxed out on overtime. I have better things to do than to play games with you. I can tell that I'm not needed here. See you next shift" and with that Sara stormed out of the breakroom.

Looking after her he whispered to himself "You are needed. _I_ need you".

He shook his head and walked towards his own office where his paperwork was waiting, knowing that he screwed up yet again.

**TBC? Reviews and Criticism are always appreciated!**


	5. Chapter 5

Title: Pushing Forward or Pulling Back

Rating: PG 13

Disclaimer: Wish they were mine… alas they are not

Summary: 1st fic… Just trying things out. Is Sara moving on without Grissom? GSR!

**I should be studying for finals. Oh well!**

That paperwork that was piled up on Grissom's desk never got finished. He was lost in his own thoughts when Brass called in with a B&E. He was the only one not out on a case, but he decided not to call Sara. He made her mad enough for one day.

The case was fairly simple. Daughter sneaks out to see her boyfriend the parent's don't approve of. She makes a little too much noise when she tries to come back though her bedroom window. Parents get frightened and call the police, while the daughter tries to act like nothing happened.

However, Grissom felt something disturbing. It is not like he never worked a case by himself before, but all while he was collecting the evidence, he felt alone. Not just alone at the crime scene, but alone in his heart.

He wrapped up the case and went back to the lab to start on the paperwork before shift ended. After 2 hours he finished up about half of the stack on his desk. When he looked back at the clock he realized that shift ended half an hour ago. _I guess I should go home to try to get some sleep._

Grissom got into his Tahoe and drove. When he stopped he realized that he was parked outside Sara's apartment, not his townhouse. _I really should apologize. _Grissom thought. _Oh please Gil! You just want to see her again._

"Shut up" Grissom muttered to his mind as he walked up the steps to Sara's door.

After pausing for a second, Grissom raised his fist and knocked on the door.

"Just a minute!" he heard Sara shout from inside her apartment.

"Hey I thought you were coming over in an hour. You're ear…ly" Sara trailed off as she opened the door.

"Grissom! What are you doing here?" Sara asked not hiding the surprise in her voice.

"I wanted to apologize. Can I come in?" Grissom asked quietly.

"Sure, sorry, come in" Sara stated "Do you want anything to drink?"

"No, no. I'm fine"

Sara looked at him willing him to speak.

"Look, Sara I'm really sorry about what happened today. There was no reason why you should have been stuck doing paperwork. It was an oversight on my part, and I truly am sorry" Grissom stated.

"Well thanks Grissom, that was a really amazing apology. I can tell you really put a lot of thought and effort into it." Sara answered bitterly. "Grissom, it clearly was not an oversight. You knew that all the others had way more paperwork than me. There has to be a reason why you are so pissed off at me. Seriously Griss, I know that you only put me on paperwork duty when you're pissed at me. So why don't you just tell my what I've done?"

"Sara you didn't do anything" Grissom answered, shocked by her harsh tone.

"But you are mad at me" Sara stated simply.

"No I'm not!"

"Yes you are Griss. Jeeze, it doesn't take a world renowned entomologist to see that you never look me in the eye anymore and you barely speak to me at all unless it is absolutely necessary. So just tell me what I did so I can avoid being on your shit list in the future" Sara replied, tears welling up her eyes.

"Sara, I…" Grissom was at a loss for words as he saw how much he hurt the woman he loved.

"Look, Grissom. I'm tired of playing games with you. You have me on this leash so you can pull me around and keep me at whatever length you want to. Your flirting with me about having sex in airplane bathrooms one day and the next you completely ignore me. I'm tired of it." The tears were threatening to fall down her face as she continued. "Please Grissom, just leave."

Sara shuffled towards the door and opened it to reveal.

"Mark!" Sara stammered trying to wipe her tears away quickly.

"Sara, honey. What's wrong?" Mark spoke in a gentle tone collecting a very broken Sara in his arms. "And who are you?" Mark asked seeing Grissom in the hallway.

_Honey, he called my Sara Honey_ Grissom thought angrily.

"He was just leaving" Sara stated bitterly as she shot a glare in Grissom's direction.

"No, I'm not. I really need to speak with you Sara" Grissom said firmly locking eyes angrily with Mark.

"No actually I think you should be leaving" Mark said as he glared back at Grissom. "It's plain to see that you are hurting Sara by being here. I suggest you leave right now Mr…"

"Grissom, Gil Grissom"

"Grissom!" Mark stated in a shocked voice. "Isn't he your boss? The one who wouldn't…"

"Mark please. Not now" Sara pleaded. "Grissom please leave. Mark, you too, I have to think"

"What! Sara, I'm not leaving you alone" Mark replied.

"I'll be fine. Raincheck?"

"Of course, anything for you honey. Are you sure you don't want me to stay?" Mark questioned, his eyes never leaving her face.

Sara shook her head no.

"I'll call you later" Mark assured her as he gave her a kiss on the cheek. With that, he headed out the door, but lingered outside to make sure Grissom respected her wishes.

"I guess I'm too late" Grissom whispered quietly, but loud enough for Sara to hear.

"I gave you so many chances Grissom, but I need to be happy before I lose myself completely. I would have given you everything, but you never let me" Sara whispered back, tears streaming down her face.

"Just answer one question for me Sara."

"What?"

"Do you love him?"

"No, because I will always love you. But he loves me and maybe one day I'll grow to love him too. I need to be loved Grissom, but you made it clear that you never would love me. I want to get married and have children. I don't want to be alone anymore. Besides you said it yourself, I'm not worth the risk to you" Sara answered.

"You heard that?"

"Yes I did. I need to find someone who is willing to take the risk, and obviously it's not you. Please leave." Sara choked out.

Grissom, too stunned that she heard his confession, backed out of the door. His eyes locked with Sara's as she gently closed the door to her apartment after him. What he saw was all the damage and heartache that he had caused to her heart. His eyes, now moist with tears, shut as the site of the door replaced her beautiful eyes.

Mark, who was still standing in the outer hallway, cleared his throat as he overheard the whole conversation. Grissom turned and looked at him.

"Look Grissom, as much as I hate you right now for hurting Sara. Sara and I have been going out on dates, but I could always tell that a little piece of her is always somewhere else. I could tell she was always thinking about something else. I though it was her job, because from what she told me it really can take a lot out of a person. Tonight, I figured out that that something was someone. And Grissom, that person is you. I love Sara, and it's plain to see that you are the only person that can make her truly happy. Look, Grissom you need to tell her how you feel, or else I think we all will lose Sara." With that Mark turned towards the direction of his apartment.

He stopped half way and added "This is your last chance Grissom. Don't hurt her again. Sara deserves to be happy, and I love her too much to have her unhappy and regretting everything for the rest of her life." Mark turned back towards his door when he heard Grissom reply:

"Thanks Mark, you're a good friend to Sara. I won't hurt her again. I can't hurt her." And with that Grissom headed towards his Tahoe, intent on finding a way toget back Sara's forgiveness and trust and prove to her how much he loved her.

**TBC?... Reviews Pleazo!**


	6. Chapter 6

Title: Pushing Forward or Pulling Back

Rating: PG 13

Disclaimer: Wish they were mine… alas they are not

Summary: 1st fic… Just trying things out. Is Sara moving on without Grissom? GSR!

**More procrastination More Chapters! I hope you all like it so far. I have no idea where I am going with this. Just writing it as it comes.**

"Damn it Grissom!" Sara cried into her pillow as she flung herself on the bed. _Stupid Sara_ she scolded herself. _You let him hurt you again. You decided to move on with Mark and now you let him into your heart again. But he never really left did he Sara?_

"Shut up!" Sara groaned to herself as she rolled over onto her back. She took the pillow and flung it over her face to block the sunlight that was creeping through the curtains.

She got up off the bed and walked in the kitchen to get a glass of water. She sat down on the couch and turned on the TV to get her mind off the current situation. Slowly she drifted off to sleep.

About an hour later Sara awoke startled by a knock on the door. "What now" she grumbled to herself as she got up off the couch. She opened the door to reveal a tired looking…

"Grissom! I thought I told you to leave me alone!" Sara spat angrily. "Or are you just here to put another knife in my heart?"

"Sara. I…"

"NO Grissom! I don't want to hear whatever you're about to say. Just go home and leave me alone!" Sara shouted as she attempted to slam the door in his face.

Grissom stopped the door with his foot and winced as the door came in contact with his shoe, crushing his foot. "Sara please let me explain. I…"

"No Grissom. This ends here and now. Leave now so I can move on!" Sara shouted louder.

"But…"

"No buts Grissom. I…"

Sara was cut off by Grissom barging into her apartment and pushing her body against the wall as he forcefully put his lips on hers. Her lips tasted like sweet mangoes. Much sweeter and better than he imagined in his dreams.

For Sara she couldn't help but give into her senses. The scent of Grissom overwhelmed her as his body pushed harder against her. His lips were soft and warm against her own as his beard scratched and tickled her face lightly.

For a couple brief seconds, she allowed herself to give in until she was snapped back into reality. She forcefully pushed back on Grissom's chest and stammered angrily "What the hell was that Grissom?"

"I don't want _this_ to be over. I think I know what to do with _this_" Grissom stated quietly, his face still flushed with passion.

"Grissom, that kiss doesn't solve anything. Did you just think that a kiss would resolve anything? Did you expect me to swoon and fall into your arms? Because if it is, you are mistaken. I told you: you're too late. I warned you when I stupidly asked you out to dinner. I also gave you more chances than I should have. I'm not going to play these games anymore."

"Sara, I never expected that kiss to fix all our problems. I needed to come up with a way to make you be quiet for a second, so I could talk" he admitted sheepishly, a grin creeping up his face. "However, that kiss does prove my point that you still have feelings for me and I have feelings for you whether you realize it or not. I really want to try to work out _this _with you. Please Sara?" he questioned, his pleading eyes looking into hers.

"Grissom. I don't know. This really is not the right time to be talking about this. I need time to think" Sara replied dropping her gaze to the floor.

"Sara, you waited for me for over 10 years. Take all the time you need to think this out. I will wait for you because I lo… care for you so much". Grissom took her hands in his and she lifted her eyes to meet with his.

"Baby steps Grissom. If we do this, we need to take baby steps. This will take time." Sara stated in a whispered tone, her eyes never leaving his.

"Of course Sara. Thank you" he whispered as he dropped a light kiss on her cheek.

Sara closed her eyes at the sensation. "How about we talk over coffee after shift tomorrow?" she suggested.

"Sounds perfect" Grissom replied looking into her brown eyes again. "I should go."

"Yeah, I'll see you at work tomorrow Griss" Sara replied as she dropped her hands out of his grasp. She planted a light kiss on his cheek and watched as he walked down the stairs to his Tahoe.

As she watched him drive away, she heard someone clear their throat down the hallway.

"Mark!" She exclaimed.

"I see everything turned out alright" Mark stated.

"Mark I'm really sorry but"

"You still care for him deeply" Mark finished for her. "I knew it from the start whenever you talked about him when we went out to dinner. I saw the look in your eyes. You obviously love him a lot".

"I really don't know I'm so confused" Sara sighed shaking her head.

"Well I'm sure you two will figure it out".

"Thanks Mark, you're a really amazing person. I'm sure some woman out there is hunting for an awesome guy like you" Sara said giving Mark a gentle hug.

"Best of luck for the both of you" Mark stated as he turned towards his apartment. He stopped just short of his door and turned around to Sara and said "Hey, for what it is worth. He really does love you. You should milk that pent up guilt he has for all it's worth"

Sara chuckled "I'll keep that in mind". She turned back towards her apartment with a smile on her face. _So this is what true happiness feels like, _she mused as she shut the door.

**TBC?... Continue? Review Please!**


	7. Chapter 7

Title: Pushing Forward or Pulling Back

Rating: PG 13

Disclaimer: Wish they were mine… alas they are not

Summary: 1st fic… Just trying things out. Is Sara moving on without Grissom? GSR!

**No Computer Lack of Updates… Hope some people are still reading.**

Sara walked into the breakroom with a new sense of happiness that did not go unnoticed by her coworkers.

"So I guess your boyfriend is keeping you pretty happy" Nick stated after Sara sat down.

"Mark? No we broke up" Sara stated as she plopped onto the couch next to Nick.

"Oh Sara, I'm so sorry. Do you want me to beat him up for you?" Nick said sympathetically as he gave her a quick hug.

"It's really ok" Sara chuckled "I just didn't have strong enough romantic feelings for him. He still is an amazing guy and friend. It just wasn't meant to be a romantic relationship".

"Well as long as you're happy"

"I am don't worry Nick. I think for once I am totally happy with my life"

"That's great Sara" Greg said as he waltzed into the breakroom, coffee in hand. "And since Mark is out of the picture, is there any room in your wonderful life for Greggo?"

"Sorry Greg, as a friend… yes… but as a romantic endeavor… no" Sara replied giving he a pat on the back. "But good try"

"I knew that wouldn't work" Greg sighed playfully, snapping his fingers in an "aww shucks" movement.

"Assignments people." Grissom stated as he walked into the breakroom. "Since Catherine And War are off tonight, everyone is going out solo"

"Even me?" Stammered a surprised Greg.

"Yes, even you. You've been doing great work, and after reading all of Sara's evaluations, it seems like you are on the right path to become a great CSI" Grissom explained.

"Awww thanks Sar" Greg said as he gave Sara a kiss on the cheek.

Grissom cleared his throat and raised an eyebrow at Greg. Greg quickly backed away from Sara and reached out his hand for his assignment and quickly ran out of the room.

Grissom handed out the rest of the assignments and proceeded to walk to his office to grab his field kit.

He heard a knock on his door and turned around to see Sara leaning against the doorframe.

"That was a very nice thing for you to do. You made Greg really happy by sending him out solo for the first time"

"Well after reading your evaluations, it seems like he is ready to be out there, trying to solve those cases on his own. You trained him well Sara"

"Well I learned from the best" Sara stated simply as she walked towards him.

Grissom tugged on her hand and pulled her into a soft, gentle hug, resting his cheek against hers. "You are the best" he whispered into her ear.

They both pulled away. "We're still on for after shift. Right?" Grissom questioned.

"Of course, I wouldn't miss it for the world. I'll meet you in your office after shift. See you later" Sara waved as she exited his office.

Grissom sighed and smiled contentedly… For once, everything was right in the world.

**TBC?... I don't know if I should continue or leave it as is… And I'm sorry about the lack of updates… Its hard to update when I don't have a computer! Please Review!**


	8. Chapter 8

Title: Pushing Forward or Pulling Back

Rating: PG 13

Disclaimer: Wish they were mine… alas they are not

Summary: 1st fic… Just trying things out. Is Sara moving on without Grissom? GSR!

Sara's phone vibrated at her hip. She smiled when she read the caller id and flipped the phone open. "Sidle" she spoke into the phone.

"Hey it's me" the low baritone voice of Grissom replied on the other end of the line.

"What's up?" Sara spoke lightly into the phone.

"I have some bad news" Grissom sighed.

"I really don't like where this is going" Sara replied worriedly as thoughts of Grissom backing out raced through her head.

"No, it's not like that" Grissom tried to ease her fears "I'm afraid I do have to cancel our plans after shift. Conrad cornered me and passed along a message from the Sheriff that I have an important meeting with him this morning to discuss the McLaren case"

"Oh" Sara replied quietly into the phone. Even though his reasoning did sound sincere, Sara could not get rid of the feeling that he was pushing her away yet again.

"However" Grissom continued, his voice becoming more elated "I did some rearranging and since you have been working so much overtime, I gave you next shift off. And since I also have the next shift off, I was wondering if we could change that breakfast into a nice dinner?"

"Sure" Sara breathed a sigh of relief. "Dinner would be great"

"I want you to know that I'm very serious about this. I want to make this work because I care so much about you. I can't back out now"

"You can if you want" Sara replied "Because if you are not in this 'relationship' fully, I won't be able to handle the rejection again"

"The thing is Sara, I don't want to back out. I want to have dinner and see what happens, and hopefully I won't be too late" Grissom spoke gently into the phone.

"You could never be too late"

"So, I have to go to that meeting. See you tonight at 7?"

"7 would be great. Bye"

"Bye" Grissom replied and waited for the phone to click shut before he shut his own. _7 o'clock tonight_ he thought _I need to show her just how much she means to me._

**7:00**

"Shit!" Sara exclaimed as she heard the knock on the door At 7:00 on the dot. She overslept a little bit after getting home at noon from a long shift of dead bodies and paperwork. The little red dress finally came out of the back of her closet and hugged her small frame as she hopped towards the door trying to buckle the tiny straps of her high heeled sandals. After successfully buckling the straps, she checked her hair and makeup in the mirror and opened the door to reveal her date.

"Hey Griss" she stammered when the door opened. He looked amazing in a dark grey suit with a deep blue shirt on underneath. His tie that was a slightly lighter shade of blue was almost the exact color of his eyes, and Sara felt like she could never tire of looking at his eyes. She also noticed that his eyes looked happy, not tired, like the way they looked at work. When she finally tore her eyes away from him she realized that he was holding out the most beautiful and colorful bouquet of wildflowers.

Grissom on the other hand was too memorized to even move. The minute she opened the door, he was blown away. Sara looked so beautiful in the red dress. The straps wrapped around the top of her arms leaving her shoulders and collar bones bare. The dress hugged her every curve stopping just above her knees. The sandals that she wore made her legs seem like they went on forever. Grissom was lost in her beauty until he heard Sara say:

"Are those for me?"

"Oh!" Grissom stammered breaking out of his trance "Yes they are. You look amazing Sara, really beautiful"

"Thank you" Sara blushed as she accepted the flowers from his grasp. "You clean up really well Grissom"

"Shall we?" Grissom asked as he offered her his arm.

"Yup, I'm ready"

The date went wonderful. A nice quiet dinner together at a restaurant that had many vegetarian options, which warmed Sara's heart because she loved the fact that Grissom did remember. She loved how he blushed when she asked him how he knew about this place, and he replied he did "a little research".

After dinner they took a little walk in the gardens that were in the back of the restaurant. Conversation came easy for them. They discussed some cases and bonded over their favorite painters and writers.

They arrived back at Sara's apartment and Grissom walked her to the door. Their light conversation stopped as they reached her apartment, and the tension level got much higher.

"So, would you like to come in for coffee?" Sara asked timidly.

"I don't know" Grissom blurted out before his mind could stop him.

"You don't know?" Sara questioned furrowing her brow.

"What I mean is" Grissom stammered "If I come in, I might not be able to control myself"

When he saw her questioning gaze he continued: "You are amazing Sara. You look so beautiful tonight and everyday that I have laid my eyes on you. You are the one person in this world that I want to share my whole world with. I… I love you and care about you so much and if I come in, and if I kiss you I won't be able to… stop showing you how much I love you" Grissom finished looking into her watering eyes as he finally pulled her into a hug.

Sara laid her head onto his chest and heard his heartbeat. Grissom heard her murmur something into his chest, but he couldn't make it out.

Sara pulled back from his embrace and repeated "Show me"

When she saw his confused expression she repeated "I love you too. Show me how much you love me. I want to show you how much I love you…Gil"

With that she took his hand and led him inside her apartment. As she closed the door and both of their eyes locked. A silent commitment was made that the mystery about what to do about _this _would finally be resolved.

**Fin**

**Hope you guys liked it… I'm thinking about writing a new story soon!**

**Please review… any helpful tips or criticisms would be great for this first time writer!**


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